RED SOCKS AND ENGLISH HUMOR

Salud, Kids!

British Brian is back and bringing us a smile, a chuckle or a big-laugh...depends on your sense of humor. Mine is somewhat twisted, so there you go.

Friday-Eve calls for something light 'n airy and Brian...who recently purchased bright red socks (ahem, in my honor)
because he's just that kind of guy, brings the funny!

Okay, those are NOT his legs or socks, but then again...

No matter, read on for the fun jokes from Brian...

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"An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.


The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."




The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."


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2. Now for those with a literary bent
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."

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3. Many jokes start "A man went into a pub...."
A man goes to a bar with his dog- a Labrador
He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!"
The man, without missing a beat, says "This is my guide dog."
"Oh Sir, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry - here, the first drinks on me."
The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua.

The first man (the one with the Labrador) sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a guide dog."
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar.
He asks for a drink.
The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my guide dog."
The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahua as guide dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"


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Love to one and all

Brian Wilson
brian@europaassociates.co.uk