KEEP SHINING ON, SHOES

Salud, Kids!

I won't bore you with, well, boring details of what is swirling and twirling in my life these days. But, I'm poppin' back into IU for a quick moment to say, like these red socks at this time of year...professional shoe shines are alive and well in South Florida. Well, West Palm anyway.


You heard me. Shoe shines.



Listen, in my opinion (which no one cares the least bit about) there are not enough men in the world who give a tiny rat's ass about the hue of their feet leather (don't even get me started on the possibility of shoe faux-leather).

Men feet (well, their shoes) are a BIG DEAL. It's the first thing you notice. Okay, their smile, then shoes.

Now, don't get me wrong, kids. I personally do NOT get my diamond encrusted flats and stacks polished. Come ON!

However, I proudly say that my son cares enough to spend cold cash to get all spit 'n polished. Don't be giving me the squint-eye, I'm talking about his SHOES, okay? The water hose is good enough when he wants to be really sparkly all over!

As a fan of fancy-whatever, I smile to myself, secure in the knowledge that gentility of the 30's and 40's, when men-folk really snazzed it up in the attire department, still lingers on...in small ways...like highly shimmering shoes.

One more thing.

Those red socks?

Don't consider them appropriate ALL year (not just during the ho-ho-ho season)?

Well, think again.

Our buddy across THE pond, British-Brian, demonstrated the quiet elegance of them while enduring my company aboard the Queen Victoria.

Off I go...my diamond (CZ) encursted shoes await.

See ya 'round the beaches-real or virtual.
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EYELASH EXTENSIONS AND REVERSE BRAZILIAN WAX

Salud, Kids!

Just when I thought we had taken fakery to the limit, they pull this shizz over our eyes. Fake hair extensions attached to real hair just isn't enough.

Bring on the fake eyelash extensions. Forget real ones or even regulation fake ones. Who needs 'em?

Even my sweet Cavi-Girl is throwing shade in the general direction of this absurd bit of vanity and we are sort of pro-vanity in these parts. It IS The Palm Beaches.Oh, don't get me wrong. If there is a VALID reason to thrust extension hairs upon your eyelashes, get on that. However, to pay hundred of dollars, pecos (probably thousands), euros, pounds (probably hundreds of thousands) to some beauty professional (using that term very loosely) just so you don't have to use eyeliner and mascara. Please. What did Maybelline do to deserve such disrespect?

Naturally, scads (that's a lot) of people are pouncing on this rage and prancing in and fluttering their lids closed for a total eyeball transformation.

I suppose there are worse places you could attach fake hair extensions, but I dare not utter the words else tomorrow we will discover it being done in some high-falution' (fancy way above my head) spa place in Beverly Hills.

Hell, they are probably already doin' it. You know, the opposite of Brazilian Waxing will be all the rage. Sorry for the image, but there is just no other way to say it, kids. I am not about to seek images for THAT. Come ON, who needs to see THAT? We don't even need to think about it, do we? We are thinking about it though, aren't we?

I never claimed IU was classy, now did I?

Alright.

If mascara just ruins your image, for hundreds in the U.S. your lashes can be just like these.

Until they fall out and you have to fall back on old reliable. You know, letting your real ones grow out...so you can go get fake extensions.

Endless, vicious circle.

Gotta go and hit up the Maybelline counter. I respect their black-goo!

See ya 'round the beaches-real or virtual.
Read me fictionally, The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches, Barnes & Noble, eBooks. It's cheap, so get on that as a holiday stocking stuffer!