GRACE, KATE, GRENADA GUARD AND A DRESS

Salud, Kids!

Well, what's done is done!

It is official, William and his Kate are now, Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

As my little blog does not have access to those official, McQueen (did they select this designer, just because it had the word queen in it? just sayin') wedding dress photos, I bring you another royal. Grace Kelly and her Prince on their day.

Kids, I am not going to kid you, this dress looks similar to the one worn across the pond today. Again, just sayin'.

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As promised, British-Brit-Brian has sent us several missives, but let us begin with this one, and it is not because he gives a small shout-out to the Sunshine State and my favorite nutmeg island, Grenada.

Contributed by: Brian Wilson
All rights reserved and copyrighted.

Just been watching TV and the interviews with the public lining the processional route.

OK, many are Brits, but many others are from all around the world.
You will not be amazed to hear that many are from the US
Tennessee, Minnesota, New York, not forgetting Florida have all been interviewed.

But, what about a 23 year old, skateboarding, punk-loving boy from Harlem protecting the Queen? (story taken from The Daily Mail)

Denton John will have a front row seat for tomorrow’s Royal Wedding – as the only American protecting the Queen.

In his shining breastplate, red plume, sword and immaculately-pressed uniform, the 23-year-old New Yorker is a proud member of the Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment.

He will be on horseback today to watch over Queen Elizabeth as she leaves Westminster Abbey to return to Buckingham Palace following her grandson, Prince William’s, wedding to Kate Middleton.

It is a world away from his childhood in Harlem as the son of immigrants from the small island of Grenada.

‘When I was young, it was all about skateboarding, punk rock. I was into everything,’ he told CNN in London.

It was only when he returned to his island roots after graduating from Harlem’s Wadleigh High School that he decided to sign up for the British Army.

While he will enjoy the pomp and ceremony, he still has an important job to do.

‘We are the Queen's Life Guard,’ he said. ‘We are the first line of defence if anything should happen to that carriage. We are very vigilant as soldiers.

‘I'll be taking in the sights and sounds, but I'll be very focused on my job,’ he added.

‘He is the only American in the Household Cavalry, and as far as we know, the only American in the Royal Wedding. It's our version of the "American Dream",' said Denton’s commanding officer Captain James Hulme.

‘I was always sure he was going to do something positive with his life,’ Loretta Lewis, his former teacher at Wadleigh HS on West 114th Street, told the New York Post.

‘He would come to school in a tie every day, always cool - and this was before mandatory uniforms!’ she said.

Denton said his parents will be watching the wedding on TV to try and pick him out.

‘My mum’s very proud,’ he said. ‘She’s telling everyone about this.’


All the best - Brian W. and Mo

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Stay with you!!

JUST A QUIET WORD

On the day of the world's most famous wedding in decades, for those in Alabama, from Indiscreetly Us.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those suffering.

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And, from across the pond...

Dear Pam and your readers:

Both Mo and I have been shocked by the devastation wrought by the tornados in the US.

Our thoughts are with all those affected - the families, who now have no home, those looking for relatives - and those who are mourning lost members of their family.

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Thank you, Brian and Mo, for your heartfelt thoughts.

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Royal Wedding thoughts to come.
At this time of celebration over here, Mo and I are thinking of you all - our hearts go out to you all.

Brian and Mo

Harry and William and Kate; Oh, MY

Salud, Kids!

Rest easy, the DVR is set for 4:30 a.m. (what, you think I'm going to watch it live?), my English breakfast goodies are ready, so the Wales family may proceed.

Before you drop off to sleep tonight we have one last pre-wedding entry by our fabulous, British-Brit-Brian, who returned home from work this evening and dashed off this report.

Read on...don't forget to get your banger on...early!!

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Contributed by: Brian Wilson
UK
All rights reserved and copyrighted

Got home from work and looked at BBC News - you would not believe it.

There are thousands of people sleeping out tonight along The Mall (the road that leads from Buckingham Palace) and the other roads leading to The Abbey.

It will be cold tonight (9 centigrade) but us Brits (and people from other countries) are made of strong stuff - they are camping put tonight - just to ensure that they have a good vantage point and are there on the day.

People are saying they feel they are part of the whole event.
Princes William and Henry live in Clarence House - which is on The Mall - and must have heard and seen the people waiting for tomorrow.

So, guess what - they came out and spent lots of time chatting to everyone camping pit - I bet the security men had a fit!

People are dressed in The Union Flag and all are wearing party clothing - but I bet lots are wrapped up now from the cold.

So, it will all happen tomorrow - a report will be forthcoming (if I am still sober after celebrating with sparkling wine and my own home made wine!)

Tonight - although Mo and I found that we were not able to attend (prior commitment!). The Queen was hosting an event for British and foreign royals at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, near Hyde Park, in central London.

Finally, just to show how much love there is about - William and Catherine (that is her full name) have already thanked people in a message that said, "We are both so delighted that you are able to join us in celebrating what we hope will be one of the happiest days of our lives. The affection shown to us by so many people during our engagement has been incredibly moving, and has touched us both deeply. We would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone most sincerely for their kindness."

And all that before the Big Day.

Good night good reader...

Brian and Mo

p.s. for the best TV coverage go to the BBC web site www.bbc.co.uk

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Don't leave us now, you must come back and hear more from Brian.

I can't wait!!

STRAIGHT FROM THE BATHERS, ROYALLY SPEAKING

Salud, Kids!

Can you feel it?

Excitement is swelling over in Merry Old England.

Well, dust off that tiara (I have to get mine away from my Cavi-Girl), grab a banger and scone...it's almost time for those old royal wedding bells to chime.


Our friend, British-Brit-Brian, gives us his views and slaps us harshly with the news that Gaz and I don't stand a chance in hell of being invited-even though two seats have JUST become available.

Well, neither he nor Mo will be tiaring up and taking seats, so there you go.

Therefore, let's get to it.

ROYALLY SPEAKING, WEDDING-WISE

By, Brian Wilson
Bath, UK
Rights reserved/copyrighted


If you and Gaz are already rowing across the pond - you may want to turn back as all the best places to view the Big Day are already taken.

I've already told you the bad news that neither you and Gaz, or Mo and myself have been invited to the Abbey - surely it must have been an administrative oversight?!

Well, the TV news and papers have told us that, for 2 days now, people have been camping out on the pavements near the Abbey and all the best viewing points!

There already is a camaraderie amongst these members of the public, people's places are "kept" by others (when they need to leave their spot to get food, drink, go to the loo etc) - typically British - you know that us Brits like to queue for everything!

I think that all this shows what us Brits really think of our Royal Family - some we may think of as a "waste of space", but people like The Queen, Charles, William, Henry, even Camilla and Princess Anne are held in high esteem.

The Queen, because she is Head of State - but has no political power (only the Brits could have invented this scenario) - Charles because he will be King - the others; well if you look at the number of official engagements they carry out and add to this the support (often carried in a "quiet way and not visible to the public) that they give to charities and local organisations, without asking for praise, means a lot to us over here.

I can understand where Republicans are coming from - but, if we had an elected President (not like yours, who has the same political role as our Prime Minister, but one that has no direct political power) all that would happen is that some ex-political (probably one who had lost an election) would throw their hat into the ring.

So we would end up with a "has been" - one who the people have already said "we have no confidence in you."

God forbid we have a President Thatcher, Blair or Brown - us Brits like our ex MPs and Prime Ministers to retire, possible write a book, but leave full time politics behind them.

Back to the Big Day.

I have just heard that Kate will not vow to obey William in the Wedding Service (do you have similar words in US?) - this shows just how "modern" things are now and that Kate is her own person.

Also, remember my note about who was invited to the service i.e. that many "foreign" dignitaries were invited by our Foreign Office; well our foreign Secretary (William Haig) has revoked the invitation to the Syrian Ambassador.

I know what you are thinking - "well that means 2 "free" places, what about us?" I will do my very best to secure you these seats, but (and this may shock you) I do not think I will be able to get you a seat - it is just too short a notice!!

I'll tell you more but, if you may want to go on The Times web site -or any UK paper.

If you have an ipad and subscribe to The times, then they will have on-line coverage, reports, photos etc

Anyhow, I'll tell you more tomorrow - Mo and I will be raising a glass, hope uoi can join us

Brian and Mo

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Kids, don't leave us now. More to come!!

Don't forget to get yourself a copy of my eBook at Barnes and Noble, eBook Store. The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches. Available on Nook, iPhone and iPad. Check it out!

ROCK ON KATE, BOTH OF YOU

Salud, Kids,

Big Ben is ticking and that wedding is almost on the horizon.

But, first-let's rag on another Kate. Hudson.

There she was yesterday morning on the Today Show. Promoting a movie while chatting and giggling with Matt Lauer; blah, blah, blah.

Good for her and all, but more importantly? The baby, um, bump. Man, looks like it is getting close.

However, the absolute most important revelation of the entire interview was not that she doesn't know the sex of the child, but the rock sitting there. You know, on her finger.

For the love of diamonds (and who doesn't?), that thing was enormous and I do believe rivals the one on the finger of the other Kate.

The Kate H. clip for today has nothing to do with her engagement ring, it's from that flick, How To Lose A Guy...

We all know both Kate H. and Kate M., HAVE their guys, so no worries...well, at least not yet.



Honestly, I wanted to pop in something bright and cheery because I get a little sad when I see that ring perched on Kate M's special finger. Sad because it belonged to Diana, and she is gone and will not see her first-born son and share his joy on such a special day. Yes, very sad indeed.

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Happier is the news received from British-Brit-Brian over there in Bath. Not as in Loo...as in, town/city.

As promised, he is keeping us up-to-royal-snuff on the shenanigans.

Today, he sends a link on the dress rehearsal. Sadly, it doesn't seem to work properly, so I have dropped it in for you to cut and paste, if interested.

Grab the URL and go have a peek!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/ushome/index.html

HOLY GOAT, A BRIT SPEAKS ROYAL WEDDING

Salud, Kids!

Ah, everything is so hoity-toity (now, there's a word you can't use everyday, wait, I live in the Palm Beaches, so never mind) with all things William and Catherine (is it K or C?) and their upcoming nuptials.

Therefore, it is my duty to slap us down a bit with this clip from one of my favorite films, Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Let's just hope the ceremony at the Abbey on the 29th fares better. Well, they would have it no other way, right? Naturally.

Oh, after the clip, read on as there is more from that British-Brit-Brian, you will enjoy what he has to say about how they will celebrate this charming couple.



By, Brian Wilson
United Kingdom
All rights reserved and copyrighted.

The Country is now getting ready to celebrate the "event"
The 29th will be a public holiday (we call them "bank holidays" just to be awkward) - so there will be lots of celebrating
Local councils have received a lot of requests to close streets for parties etc - you will not believe the "red tape" that many councils surround themselves with - I am sure they do it just to feel important (moan over)
One thing is certain, people will be celebrating on the streets of London - Mo and I (and family of course) will be doing the same - we just hope it is a lovely day, especially after all this good weather we are having

The papers have been full of "tittle tattle" for some time now - it is all a ruse to sell more papers
For example - the other day, even The Times had a one page spread about Kate going shopping - photos, details of what she bought etc
You would think that no bride has ever gone shopping before her wedding!
The papers are full of Kate this and Kate the other - but hardly anything about William (us chaps know all about this - we have just got to grin and bear it - we are such a fantastic gender!!)
However, William has asked the Press for some time - 2 years - of low levels of cover - so they can begin their life together. I hope this happens

The list of guests is out - AND WE ARE NOT ON IT!!
But the list is very interesting
Some politicians are out (Blair and Brown)
Some are in - John Major

William has invited a good number of his Service colleagues (William is a RAF helicopter pilot seconded to Search and Rescue)
Those invited include all ranks - this tells you a lot about the chap himself and the strength of Service camaraderie
They have also invited as number of disabled service people (many with horrific injuries) - these are people that both Princes (William and Harry) have met during their tours of duty (especially in Afghanistan)

Kate's family live in a small village called Bucklebury - some 50 miles from London
So she has invited a number of people from the village to the be at the Abbey
These include the butcher and the people who run the local Post Office and shop
You can image their astonishment when they received their invitation - if it was me; you would have heard the shout in Florida!

Unfortunately, there will always be people who will use every opportunity to press their own points of view.

Some writers have bemoaned the invitations that have gone out to the rulers of certain countries (including those with a less than average human rights history).

So, out come the pundits - "why has the Queen invited so and so?"
The answer is simple - she did not, the Government did (to support our Department for Foreign Affairs).

To make matters worse - the pundits know this, but still make full use of their chance to get noticed.

It must be galling not to be free to choose your own guests - ah well I suppose that "goes with the territory."

If anyone has ever had problems choosing who to invite to a wedding (can we invite Aunty Bea as she always has one to many and starts to dance on the tables!?) - well your problems are minuscule compared with those faced by the Royal Family.

So, like many of us Brits, we will be raising a glass to the young couple.

So, make sure the sparkling wine and beers are on ice - actually we only cool lager
British beer is a different beast - we usually drink it at room temperature - people from the US find this somewhat amazing!

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You've heard it straight from the continent of the wedding of the decade...get those libations prepped...iced or not...and wish these royal-kids a life of joy! Oh, and of being incredibly rich.

THE IMPETUOUS AUNT OF THE BAINBRIDGES

Salud, Kids!

Bet you thought all I did was hang around with my mutt, staring at the Atlantic, drinking fine wine night and day.

Well, think again my pretties...wait, maybe I do that, but I'll never tell.

One thing though, Barefoot is considered a fine wine, wouldn't you agree? Indeed.

Yes, when not otherwise engaged in questionable activities, I have managed to write a few fictional novels and if you have been with me for the past few years...from blog-to-blog...you already know this.

If you have been with me for years and do NOT know this, you have not been paying attention. Yeah, that sounds about right for my readers!


More to the point, and I do have one, my first novel,
The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches, The Case of the Impetuous Aunt, is now available on the Barnes and Noble, eBook Store, site. My crusty-soul is filled with the joy of it all. Don't give me the squint-eye, I do have a soul!

Admittedly, my writing does not attempt to cure what ails ya (it could be if you enjoy fun characters), solve the problems of the world (no, just Aunt Wy's) or get all spiritual (you are on you own here, kids) on you.

It is simply my attempt to entertain with a fun (it is if I say so) adventure (see prior parenthesis) with even funner (you know I love making up words) characters (ditto previous).

My saga begins in the Palm Beaches, then the action moves to Texas. Irresistible, right? Of course.

So, get off this blog and get yourselves to that online magical store for reading and, well, read my saga!

All you need is a Nook, iPhone or iPad. The apps for i's are free, but the book is gonna cost ya real coins-$2.99 (what IS that in pounds?).

Kids, I thank you!

See ya 'round the eBook Store!

THINGS ARE HOTTING-UP, ROYALLY

Salud, Kids!

Yep, we can hear those wedding bells all the way across the pond.

Wait, maybe it's from the church across the street. I will have to get back to you!

Bells or no, it is the biggest of big weeks for Diana's first born and his lady.

However, British Brian and Mo have generously offered to share their views of all things, Really BIG-HUGE-GIGANTIC-ROYALLY/ROYAL wedding.

All you get today is a snippet.

Oh, before we get to all things snippet, have a look at BriMo's (just think of Brangelina and you will get that reference) lovely garden area at their home in, Bath (BAAAATH/BATH you decide for yourself).
Who cares about a wedding, I want to be sitting there, having tea and that cake thing that goes with it.

Yep, Gaz and I may have to row over for a little visit.

Have I mentioned...I ADORE, England.

One more thing. You kids on Facebook?

I know it's lame, but I'm there trying not to get into trouble like that British lad who got bounced from being a royal wedding guard. Not such a big week for this chap (I know). His Facebook rant against the fair, Kate, seemed harmless enough to me. He's only eighteen, and that is exactly what his raving sounded like.

Basically, he was pissed that Kate high-hatted him. Boo-Hoo. He'll grow up and figure out how this went royally awry for him.

Now, the snippet:

By, Brian Wilson
United Kingdom

Now, about the "Big Day"
Well, things are hotting up over here - not only our weather (28 Centigrade yesterday) but, as usual with us Brits, we are leaving things to the last moment.

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Stay with us. More to come from BriMo (just go with it).

SPEAK IT, WITH ACCENTS AND SINGING HINNIES

Salud, Kids!

Grab those binoculars and cast your gaze across the pond to the United Kingdom as British Brian speaks-the-speak. Better yet, get to reading it, but be careful how you speak it!

____________________________________________________________________________________
BY, Brian Wilson

Thoughts from across the pond – 1/11

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USA and UK – let the differences flourish – Skons or Skohnes!

Is there a standard english language?
If you think that the main differences are between the US and the UK – think again
English – and variants of english - can be found across the world.

All to often I hear writers from the UK deriding USA pronunciation and vice versa – but hang on - is this not a case of the “pot calling the kettle black”?
If you think there is one accent for each country – think again.
The UK is still a collection of differing accents – and the US encompasses even more ways of pronouncing the same word - just compare the New York accents and those found in the deep south – to mention just a few.

In the UK, we often pronounce the same word in differing ways – it depends upon your accent – where you come from.

My wife Mo comes from the South of England, whilst I come from the North of England and our accents differ.

My wife’s accent is often thought of as “standard english”

Take the word bath (both the bathroom item and the city)
My wife says “baahth” (with a long “a”) and I say “bath” (with a short “a”).
The same goes for “grass” – my wife says “graahss” (long “a”) – I say grass (short “a”).

Which one is correct?

No family quarrels please!

Then we come to “scones” (the small bread type cake eaten at teatime).
There 2 main ways of pronouncing this word - “skon” to rhyme with “con”, or “skohn” to rhyme with “cone”, “skon” is more prevalent in the North of England and Scotland (where you may even come across words like "Fat Rascals," and "Singing Hinnies")!!
All this makes life more exciting!

Does it matter how we pronounce words – as long as we can understand each other? – I hope not.

It would be boring if we all sounded the same – do we want the “speech police” to tell us how we should speak?
As long as we understand each other – let differences remain!


© B. Wilson 12/4/11

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Thanks, Brian and you are correct. The world would be quite boring without the differences. So, bring them ON (imagine my American accent here).

I don't know about you kids, but I want to know more, a lot more, about those Singing Hinnies.

BY ANY OTHER NAME, SCONES AND COMMODORES

Salud, Kids!

It is a holiday weekend, the Royal Wedding is next week.

Lunch at Kona with Gaz was sublime and the West Palm Beach weather is absolute perfection.

Perfection. Now, there's a word that is...perfect!

Apparently, Cunard thinks our Queen Victoria Captain Christopher, is also perfection for a name change. At least, a title change.

You kids remember how we thought El Cap was pretty groovy and we sat at his table for fine dining and got to hang out on his Bridge? Wait, that sounds like we were stalking him. But, that's another blog.

Wait. Stalking? Remember that he was also our Captain when we crossed the Atlantic to South Hampton on the Queen Mary II? Hm. Yes, another blog.

Well, our shenanigans aside, Cunard floated a Press Release yesterday that Captain Christopher Rynd is now, Commodore Rynd of the entire fleet of vessels.

Here's what they had to say:

Captain Christopher Rynd has been appointed Commodore of the Cunard Line fleet – Queen Mary 2, Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria – the youngest fleet in the industry and The Most Famous Ocean Liners in the World. Captain Rynd assumes the title held by Commodore Bernard Warner who retired from the company on 19 April 2011.

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So, get this...we now know a Commodore and on our last evening on the Queen Victoria we got our groove on in the Commodore Club with Mo, Brian, Lucia and Alfonso. Man, you can't shake an anchor without hitting a Commodore something.

Nah, Captain Rynd seems to be the ultimate Commodore and we wish him well.

Now...a few more snaps and words from the Queen Victoria, Commodore Club as we cruised toward, Fort Lauderdale and home.





Lucia, from Miami, tells us how things should be. She and Alfonso were delightful and fascinating. Leaving Cuba behind in 1959, they have some stories to tell.



Beautiful, Mo, has a striking resemblance to, Camilla Wales. Although Mo doesn't have a royal title like the Mrs-Duchess Wales, she is much lovelier. Oh, the Duchess did christen the Queen Victoria, so her photo is hanging around the ship.

Kudos to the Duchess, she got her Prince along with that title.



The voyage was almost over as we had a last toast, but don't leave the blog just yet, there's a bonus (I'm such a giver). A video!!

A word by any other name, it still goes with tea. Don't miss, Mo, of Bath, UK, coaching zany Americans (Gaz and I) on the proper pronunciation of the word...scones.



What?

Sounds easy?

Well, think again, kids!

Stay with us...more British what-have-you in the queue!!

RIDICULOUS HATS, DRESSES, KARDASHIANS AND A REAL LADY

Salud, Kids!

Listen, it is time to get things semi-rolling, Royal Wedding Style! The dress, the hats, the guests...I am already exhausted, but I will press on with all possible dispatch.

Kids, you don't have to go to the major networks, I mean why would you when you can get grassroots coverage-right here?

Already in the queue? Views from across the pond by none other than, British Brian and my own indiscreet perspective. It is all about the pomp-and-circumstance, and if you want pomp, you know to stay right here! Uh-huh.

Today, I just want to rant on the hat issue. Why in the name of bangers and clotted cream (I know they don't go together) don't we Yanks (just go with it) wear flipping hot hats like those stylish and styling, Brits? Damn. And, damn.

I love 'em and am jealous to the core when I see the out-of-this-world chapeaus routinely worn all over the United Kingdom, and not just on Kate and the Queen.

Lilly Dache, I need you.

Tossing the hats aside, let's focus on dresses. Although we are all curious-as-cats about how Kate will look as she sashays through that historical Abbey, here in the US it is also Prom time.

You know, high school kids grooving and moving in their finest for one zany evening they will never forget, but probably wish they could. It is supposed to be funky and silly, not truly glam and expensive.

However, there are recent reports that some young teens, inspired by those ridiculous Kardashian celebu-idiots, are being allowed to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on their Prom attire. Yep, they want to be like these nit-wits for one night...or that's what they are saying.

Can we start a movement to make the Kardashians just fade away? Please?

I don't wish them ill, I just wish them into obscurity.

In honor of how Prom dresses SHOULD look, I have posted the most ridiculous looking dress I could find. Come ON, if the dress isn't truly horrible...it just ain't Prom!


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Speaking of the Kardashians, and I will try not to do it again anytime soon, makes my brain want to scream, so I offer up this snap of a smart lady I just met in Tampa/St. Petersburg.

Tip your hat to, Isabelle. She is from the fabulous San Francisco area and please note she is reading a real book. She's not texting or cell-phone-shouting, just sitting there reading a book.

She inspired me and while we chatted I discovered her daughter was in Tampa to appear on the Home Shopping Network to offer up her invention called, Veggie Bed.

Hear that Kardashians? People being real and contributing something worthy to the universe.

Now, if only Isabelle had been wearing a fabulous hat, it would have been a perfect world for me!

Stay with me...you don't want to miss a single thing from British Brian!

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE...

Salud, Kids!

That's right, just when you thought I was OVER our little Fort Lauderdale to Panama trek...the Queen is BACK and I think Sir Elton John should write a song about THAT.

I mean, come ON, did you really think I was going to end our Queen Victoria adventure at the Panama Canal?

No can do. Not only do you need to know how we said farewell to our new best friends, Brian and Mo-along with Lucia and Alfonso, with all the royal shenanigans of Wills and Kate, it is more than appropriate to drop in more of our Queen V shenanigans. I mean it's all British, right?



So, here is a little snap of a simple wine toasting we did in the fabulously gorgeous, Commodore Club, to say cheers to our new gang (they can be our gang if we say so) and wish them safe travels home.

More to come on our little party, but for today...let's just say, Salud!

Oh, if we are very nice, Brian and Mo of Bath (it's across the pond, in case you've missed that part) just may offer us their vision of all things Royal Wedding. You gotta admit, they are MUCH closer to William and Katherine than Gaz and I.

See ya 'round the beaches.

BITS FROM BRITISH BRIAN

Salud, Kids!

SOMETHING AMUSING ON A RANDOM TUESDAY...and if you can't take a joke...you are at the wrong blog!

Contributed by, Brian Wilson
Bath, United Kingdom

A man had heard that a certain bar kept excellent beer and had a talking dog
So he went round to the bar


He called for a beer - and it was excellent
So he asked the owner about the dog


"Sure I've got a talking dog" the owner said
"Can I see him?" said the man
"Sure - he's round the back" said the owner


The man went round the back and there was a very old and rather dirty dog
The man looked at the dog and said out loud "ah well, this dog does not look as though he can speak - I'lll go and complain!"
"Why complain?" said the dog
"Wow, you can speak" said the man
"Of course" said the dog, in a disparaging manner
"Where - how - did you learn to speak?" said the man - who was now rather flustered as he realised he was conversing with a dog
"Well" said the dog - "I was once a police dog and learnt how to speak from my handlers. I was then seconded to the Florida (change the town if needed) Undercover Police. I would walk around, listen to all the criminals - go back to the Police Station and report to my handler. Arrests increased by 300% and crime became a thing of the past"
"That's fantast....." said the man, who was interrupted by the dog.
"I've not finished" the dog said, with a little growl
"I was then transferred to the FBI and then the CIA - working in so many countries that I have lost count! - But now I am retired"


The man went back into the bar and said to the owner "that's a fantastic speaking dog - is he for sale?"
The owner immediately said yes
"How much?" asked the man
"$20" came the reply
"Why, oh why, is the dog so cheap - after all he can speak and the stories he tells are so interesting?"
"Because" responded the owner "he talks a load of crap!"

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Stay with us...Brian and Mo have promised to keep popping in from across the pond.

You don't want to miss 'em!!

EVIL DOG-EYE AND STORING KIDS IN BOXES

Salud, Kids!

If I told you how many plastic storage boxes I currently own or have owned in the past you would judge me as an exaggerator of the worst sort. So, I won't be telling you. Just imagine a rather large number, go with it and you will be fairly accurate.

I don't know about you, but I have a rather low threshold for boredom. Simply, I get bored looking at the same silly inanimate objects sitting there, staring. When I can't take staring back at them any longer, I grab them, wrap them and zap them into the old plastic container. Some of these priceless objects (feel free to insert sarcasm) never see the light of day again and go straight from storage to the Goodwill. Some will be permitted back into the fold at some future time and place.

My plastic rainbow (isn't colored plastic simply dreamy?) collection contains everything from holiday decorations, antique dishes, Brandon's toy collection (he refuses to take them to his place) to outright junk that I cling to like some sort of hoarder. I am not a hoarder, just a sentimental slob who keeps select items of, well, sentiment.



Now, about these bins.

Kids, I realize I can be utterly clueless (I know you are nodding in agreement) occasionally, but just yesterday I realized I have completely missed the boat, storage-bin-wise.


Yep, while wrapping up decorative glassware I glimpsed a sticker, prominently placed inside the lid. If there on previously purchased bins, I had failed to notice.

But, there it was. Right before my eyes, a red circle and line across the image of a child. Everyone knows that is the universal symbol of the big-DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Evidently, some people have not only been thinking about it, but using these things for storing their kids. I never knew I should have put young B inside one, stored him, taken him out for a little play time and food, popped him back inside and gone on my merry way without a care for his welfare.

Man, could I have saved a ton of worry about after-school care. Plus, no need for a sitter when you, and that special someone you force to go out with you to pick up the tab, leave the house.

Heck, I would even have tossed in a flashlight, comic book and a tin of Pringles because I am nothing if not a giver.

Here I sit, all these years later and admit all I ever stored (kid-related) inside those zany things were B's baby clothes, his books, CareBears, Teenage Ninja Turtles and all that-what was it called...Skeletor and his gang. Stuff such as that, you know? Silly me.

But, let's get serious here. Our common sense has diminished to the point where, without being warned by a sticker, we would think it logical to put a child inside a plastic container and close it? We, as adults, can not figure this out without a sticker?

Would someone actually think it okay to put a living thing inside something like this?

Please.

Where does this warning sticker insanity end? I suppose when humankind quits behaving in an insane manner.

However, even my dog threw shade and the evil-eye at this particular absurdity.

Well, either that or maybe she saw me looking closely at that blue box and started to worry. I mean, that warning sticker said nothing about storing dogs.

See ya 'round the beaches, kids!

LOCKING IT UP IN PANAMA

Salud, Kids!

Finally!

If you have stayed with me on this virtual cruise, we have arrived in Panama and that fabulous Canal of the same name.

Having you along, sharing this adventure vicariously, has been the berries. In other words I have enjoyed having you along for the ride.

In the early morning hours on the day of our arrival we stepped onto our terrace where it was eerily quiet, and realize we are finally there. Panama, a place I have wanted to see since elementary school. Yes, I can remember that far back, so don't be giving me the old squint-eye.

Our enormous ship, was treading water, waiting in line to enter the locks.

Just to prove we were really there, here are the certificates we were presented at the conclusion of our transit. I know you can't see a thing and these could be maps sent to us from AAA, but I like them, so here they are.

The Queen Victoria is considered a PanaMAX ship. Barely small enough to squeak through the locks. But, an inch is as good as a mile (don't you love it when I get all philosophical?), so in we went and squeak and scrape we did.



The history of this canal is deeper than these locks, so I won't bore you with a history lesson. No, I think boring you with my snaps is quite enough. However, the story of this massive and on-going achievement is worth knowing, if you don't.



Honestly, the history of it all has fascinated me forever and the actual experience of traversing the locks into Gatun Lake was indescribable.



To think these ships are raised and lowered in the locks by water and gravity seems impossible.



Our partial-transit permitted time to drift all over Gatun Lake and ponder how this miracle was ever achieved and how it will evolve with the development of new locks currently under construction.



Of course, a partial-transit sparks the flame of a total-transit. How thrilling to navigate through the canal and pop out into the peaceful, Pacific.



Gaz and I roamed all over the Queen Victoria and attempted to view things from every possible angle. Witnessing this marvel made me appreciate the dedication of Teddy Roosevelt and a cast of thousands. I know, I know, there were all sorts of shenanigans involved, but what's done is done and it is semi-ancient history anyway, right?



Quite fascinating to me were the machines called Mules. They move along tracks and guide the ships through the locks with ropes. In the olden days, actual mules did the job. Somehow I don't think they ever envisioned these Panamax vessels back in that day.

Kids, one minute you are staring into the face of the mule driver and the next minute the water has elevated you many, many floors above him.



Great fun was to gaze across from our lock to Panamax ships gliding quietly through other locks.

You sort of become a kid again, waving at the folks on those ships.



If this sort of adventure doesn't bring out the kid in you, you probably don't like to ride the Tea Cups at Disney World either.




This cargo ship was squeaking through, just like the Queen V.

The strange thing is how all this nautical traffic movement and activity is so quiet and organized.



It's sort of like when you step onto the Observation Deck of the Empire State Building for the first time and it is so very quiet. Unexpected silence.



Well, I hope you will enjoy these snaps of the canal. It was impossible to truly capture it, but we tried.




Thanks for tagging along, indulging me, as we went from Fort Lauderdale to Panama and back to Fort Lauderdale.



The Queen Victoria brought new friends, new locales, new experiences and royal memories.

Cheers!

DINING WITH TODD ENGLISH

Salud, Kids!

Don't you despise a deceptive headline?

Me too, but like so many headlines, this one is almost accurate.

Almost.

We did dine with Todd English. He just wasn't on board the ship.



Keep reading. I promise, we are almost to the Panama Canal blog on this virtual Queen Victoria cruise.

Indulge me while I tell you how Gaz and I indulged ourselves at the chic and saucy (must toss in some epicurean terms), Todd English, specialty restaurant on the Queen V. If you don't recognize the name of this Celebrity Chef, I will prompt you.

Olives?

If you still need prompting...forget it...look him up for yourselves. I can not do everything!

Now, back to our dining indulgence.

Yes, yes-there is a small extra charge to strike a pose over fish and chops at this restaurant, but it's small. Hardly noticeable.

Sashaying into the place, after making dinner reservations, we were greeted warmly and seated promptly.

Our server launched our dining experience with the proper and comfortable balance of helpfulness, charm and then leaving us to it.

The atmosphere, food, wine and service was exemplary.

Heck, I may even find one of Todd's places on land.



The snaps I post are of the most important aspects of any meal.
=

In the end, doesn't it all really come down to the wine and sweets?


Granted, some would disagree and say it is all about the entree and good for them. Naturally, I want my fish sticks (hope Todd can take a joke) to be extra yummy, but the wine and chocolate are simply the perfect storm of flavors-crashing all over the palate.


Cunard was wise to put this option smack in the middle of the Queen Victoria. Of course, I am not really certain it IS smack in the middle. How can one really tell on a ship?

No matter if it is in the bow the stern, fore or aft...it is divine!

Don't drop out now...Panama Canal...on the horizon.

ALL THAT CUNARD JAZZ AND GAZ

Salud, Kids!

Whew.

I have taken you along, virtually, for almost all of the Cunard/Queen Victoria experience, beginning with our departure from Fort Lauderdale.

We have almost made it all the way to Panama, but before I lock it up, I am kicking back with a few snaps of Gaz, well, kicking back.

Yep, he is always skittering (don't tell him I said he skittered) about at lightning speed with one project or another. It is not easy to catch him in repose, but I manage, on occasion.

Whether it is grabbing a moment for a quick cocktail, a breather on a chaise lounge or simply being reflective, Gaz is the best partner-in-travel. Ever.

In the light of day, we returned to Hemispheres, the scene of one of the most fun evenings/early morning events.

There is nothing better than a dance floor jammed-packed with formally attired patrons getting absolutely crazy to the DJ-spun music of ABBA.

Everyone wants to be a Dancing Queen, aboard a Queen ship, right? Well, I know I did and was.

Mama Mia!!



If it isn't burning up the dance floor, it is burning up the camera and I am of the opinion he must stop along the way, just to make sure that thing isn't smoking.



Coming up-dining, Todd English style.

Kids, don't you dare leave me now!