CAPTAIN, COOK, DROPPED JAM AND CLOTTED CREAM

Salud, Kids!

I have just escaped the laundry room where I have been making small inroads with the ridiculous amount of clothing I took aboard the Queen Victoria for eleven days. Oh, the bag came back from the dry cleaners today bearing even more clothes. They are much faster than I, but then they ARE the professionals, so don't you dare judge my wash/dry skills!

Leaving chores behind let me get back to the Queen Victoria. We met some fab folks while flitting from one spot to another and I want to recognize the evening dining companions assigned to our table, but more about them later.

No, today let's gab about how I am pretty certain our assigned table folks had a little word with the Captain and coerced him into extending an invitation for us to dine at his table one evening. There can be no other explanation for it. Those unfortunate kids who drew our names as breaking-bread companions needed a break from our zany selves and who can blame 'em? So, here I sit like a pretend-lady-out-of-water at the table of the MAIN-STEERING-MAN, Queen Victoria speaking. I did love how midway through the meal the Captain and his wife switched table positions. I shall try this at my next formal dinner.

Of course, there could be another reason for the invite. Check out the photo below where I offer directional assistance to the Captain and his crew from our stateroom terrace. A pointing finger is the best navigational device ever invented, don't ya think? Pretty sure El Cap agreed and HAD to spend time with true sea-farers such as the two of us.

As usual, Gaz takes everything in stride and simply observes the world while wearing his stunning tuxedo.

The ship is loaded to the mast with talent and Chef Mark is right at the top of that heap. He toured us around and in return I offered to host him at our home. He may not be FROM Florida, but he calls it home now, so how difficult would it be for him to hop onto I95 and visit us in West Palm? Yeah, I feel absolutely certain he will be accepting my invitation...who could resist Cheez Whiz on Ritz? Not me and by the glint in his eye, I am convinced Chef will be knocking on our door for some delish delights very soon! More on our tour later.

Chef Mark, the Captain and his crew could not have been more gracious, but again, I don't think they heard about the shenanigans that went down while Gaz and I sat at a little table draped in white linen, while being served English tea and all the trimmings by white-gloved staff. The best? Scones (we were later schooled in the proper pronunciation of that particular word by one of our dining companions from the UK), strawberry jam and the luscious clotted cream. Um, when I splattered a rather large dollop of the jam onto the pristine cloth I think I heard a gasp go 'round the entire Queens Room. Yep, these Bloody Americans are total clods. No more scones for them!


Agreed, I may be less than perfect when it comes to High Tea, but I make a fantastic addition to the Queen Victoria crew. You just can not go wrong when you point a navigational finger while wearing an enormous hat!

EXCESSIVE BEHAVIOR AND SAILING WITH A QUEEN

Salud, Kids!

Today I sort of begin at the end of our first day arriving at, boarding and gawking our way through the Queen Victoria at Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale.



But first, I pose this question to you, not that I expect an answer-is it excessive to take fifteen pairs of shoes aboard a ship for an eleven day adventure? Gaz thinks yes, but I would not be stopped and hopped aboard WITH fifteen to his four. Yes, those are the shoes placed haphazardly in our stateroom. Getting all my junk into luggage, a vehicle and onto a ship makes for excellent fun and blogging material. Thanking all my angels for the patient and tolerant...Gaz.
Therefore, I think this snap of him in the late evening, Commodore Lounge, on our first night at sea, about to sip a lovely libation is appropriate. See, when I said I HOPPED aboard, that was a stretch. A BIG one. Our bags were many and HEAVY. I admit I did NOT carry this much crap when we grooved on the Queen Mary II, crossing the rugged North Atlantic from New York to London.
Earlier in the afternoon, undaunted with any form of guilt for my excessive shoe and clothing behavior, I relax on our terrace and peruse the ships log for the peasants aboard. What do do? Where to dine? What to eat? Gamble in the casino? High tea in the Queens Room? Shopping in the snazzy on board shops? Too much, too much, but I have shoes for any occasion!


Bless him, Gaz, finding comfort in the Grand Lobby, doesn't judge me too harshly about this shoe obsession. He is a great traveling-mate and we balance it somehow. Besides, does absolutely no good to try and change me and he accepts my ridiculous habit. Humor helps and we laugh-a lot! Better than being a grouch, right?

After the mob-scene, shown below, at the Port Everglades terminal, this scene is much more like it. Our stateroom was lovely and adorned with fabulous goodies!! All this fabulousness called for another shoe change. Me, not Gaz.

On board and exploring. Cunard/White Star, I love you!!


Although I can not be certain, I am just going to go ahead and assume that Gaz and our driver, Bob, are discussing/cursing my luggage situation. Yep, that sounds logical, but I dismiss with a click of my stylish espadrilles as I am headed for the Queen V!!

So, here we are,at the beginning of our journey with the luggage pieces wrestled into the elevator of our building. I think Gaz wants to murder me and we haven't even departed the premises where we live!!

Kids, stay with me for more Gaz, new friends and shenanigans sailing on the Queen Victoria...Fort Lauderdale to Panama and home again!!

LAND-HO, QUEEN VICTORIA

Salud, Kids!!

Yep, we dropped anchor back in West Palm this morning, grabbed our Cavi-Girl, Reggie, and now must figure out how to get back in land-groove. Wait, let me clairfy. WE dropped our anchor-meaning us, our luggage and trinkets purchased)...Queen Victoria dropped anchor in Fort Lauderdale.

Eleven days aboard the Queen Victoria has given me SCADS of blogging material, but other things beckon today...mountains of laundry being only one.
I did want to pop in for a quick moment and drop in this photo I snapped yesterday while on a tour of the bridge of that fabulous Cunard vessel. The tour was all very hush-hush and we weren't allowed to video the shenanigans known as guiding an enormous ship through sea waters. Photos were allowed, so I will share more very soon. The tour and having a look at how they navigate such a ship was more than fun...I learned stuff. Believe it or not!!

Appreciated how, in addition to all the new-fangled techno-jazz, they still rely on binoculars, just in case.

Kids, LOTS more to come, so stay with me!!

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WHERE THERE IS SMOKE, THERE ARE DOGS

Today I zipped my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Reggie (I use her BIG name when I'm annoyed), up to the Pool Deck of our building for a noontime bio-break. If you want the scientific name, it was time for a pp and a doody.

We stopped short when our (I'm throwing her into this mess because the way I see it, she is lower to the ground and even more sensitive in the nasal area than I) nostrils were assaulted with the vile odor of cigarette/cigar smoke.

You see, our building management (ever so dog-friendly) have designated the dog area as the official smoking area. I've ranted on about this before, but today screams for another rant.



I do NOT appreciate standing/walking/waiting for and with my dog in the midst of swirling cigarette smoke. If I wanted to smell like this crap and inhale it into my allergy-prone lungs, I would spend ridiculous amounts of money and suck on tobacco myself.



My theory is that the building management does not give a tiny rat's ass if we are annoyed, smell like stale smoke or inhale smoke that has already resided in another body. They WANT us to be annoyed, so we will take the mutts to street level, entirely away from the building. Oh, do remember that this is the building with signs SURROUNDING the building with dire warnings if your dog pees anywhere near their vegetation.

The old cigarette posters make the vile habit look dreamy and romantic...of course, back then the Surgeon General probably smoked. We'll give a pass to the historic and movie presentation of cigarettes. They had no idea. We do.

Here's the rub for me...if they are not a dog-friendly building I wish they would stop presenting themselves in that fashion. If they don't want to have a dog-area on the Pool Deck, remove it.

All of that aside, I am of the opinion that smoking should be banned inside a building, even when it's outside, if you know what I mean.

ROLLIN' WITH BROLIN, CHAMPAGNE AND NITROGEN

The fabulous, Allure of the Seas, was THE place to be this past Sunday. Kids, springing-forward and losing that hour to usher in another round of Daylight-Savings-Time, usually makes me crabby-crabberson. But, this past weekend I said ta-ta to that extra hour with a quick flick of the wrist and we headed on down I95 to the Port of Fort Lauderdale to hang with James Brolin, Dean Cain, Jenny McCarthy and other movie types. The glam life on the peninsula, that's us!
Did you hear? James and Jenn-Jenn directed a couple of short promo films for the peeps at Royal Caribbean and we were on hand for the previews. They were fine, James did a better job as a director than Jenny, PLUS she seriously should have considered casting a different female lead. Just my humble opinion, naturally.

After the previews and Q&A; where James, again, handled questions with professional aplomb and honesty; media types zipped up to the gorgeous Viking Lounge for food and drink. Champagne and cocktails were flowing and the food was divine. Could it be anything else on that ship?

.

Not divine and totally silly was how Jenny had her beefy bodyguard standing-guard around her table. Ridiculous. Media types are typically more about the food and drink than crashing her dumb table. She really is vapid in person and not to be tacky, okay it is a little bit, the humidity made her hair look as bad as mine and the only 'people' I have assisting me with hair and make-up is my Cavalier King Charles. My girl sleeps on the floor and watches me primp, with what I am certain is a smirk on her face. Rightly so.

James Brolin, on the other hand, could NOT have been more down-to-earth; mingling with everyone and chatting about such things as Twitter and how he doesn't Tweet! Some are simply more professional than others. Again, just my observation.

The other stars were hanging around eating and what-have-you. None of them had 'staff' waving you away.

Overall I give it a A for Adventure. I mean chatting with a star from West World, drinking lovely champagne and dining on delicious food and drink can not be a bad thingPlus, the RC types are super-professional and nice.



During a lapse in the action, Gaz showed me how to scan a bar code on the back of a program with your phone. Cool as the mimosa I was sipping...scan the code and up comes a Web site. The things you learn while sitting in a theater in a mega-ship!

Now, what to do to top a Sunday afternoon aboard the Allure? Why, check-in at the Hyatt in downtown Miami and cleanse your palate with nitrogen ice cream.

We welcomed Daylight-Savings-Time in style. What hour?

HOUNDING FOR A CUPCAKE

During the holiday season we attended a fabulous party where I tasted fine wine, fine cuisine and fabulously decadent cupcakes.

The maker was gracious and shared her secrets and I FINALLY got around to whirling eggs and other fine ingredients together and guess what?

Cupcakes that had my mutt in the kitchen, begging.

Wait, she always does that, even when I'm making salad.

No matter, I knew success had been achieved when B blew into town, nabbed one and declared they were divine...on the scale of those delectable mini-cakes-in-a-paper-cup from Buttercream in Miami.

Now, my Cavi-Girl? She didn't realize we pulled a fast one on her fluffy paws and gave her a nibble of sweet potato treat instead of cupcake.

So, here's to fine wine and fine cupcakes. A perfect storm.

YOU MOTHERS, GET HAPPY

For-the-love-of-Gerber, on the Today this morning some writer was yapping on and on about a book entitled, Ten Habits of Happy Mothers. Do-tell!

First, have women not evolved, at all, from the days when televison executives force-fed the image of June Cleaver as the perfect and doting mother? Such crap as this can really ramp up the pressure to present yourself and your children as all that is good and right with the world. Oh, please.

Second, I think the title of this book appears to be less than inclusive.


I know families where there are only fathers on hand. Don't they count in the land of happy-parentville? Evidently, not. If you are a single-father you don't have a need to be happy, so put that smiley-face on ice you men.

Of course, I realize that, typically, the mother-figure bears a heavy burden when it comes to child-rearing and it can be a daunting and thankless task. Rewarding, but exhausting. Exhausting because, as a culture, we do things in a pack perhaps?

Think about it for a second.

If you don't do the SAME pre-natal activities as your pregnant peers...OUTCAST.

If you don't breastfeed (no matter that you may have genuine and medical issues involved in the decision)...OUTCAST.

If you don't Baby Einstein the living hell out of Junior or Juniorette...OUTCAST.

If you don't send Junior and Juniorette to the perfect play-date, pre-school, art-class, dance-class, sport (insert your own choice), college, grad-school, wedding, grandchildren...OUTCAST.

Well, you get my drift and it continues...FOREVER. Ridiculous compeition and these KIDS...scheduled heavier than the President of the United States.

Okay, read the book and become a happier mother, but it strikes me as a book of common sense type stuff.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood said it and I will say it again...RELAX!

Mothers, Fathers, Care-Givers of all types, not to mention-kiddies...you gonna be much happier, in all ways, if you can just...r-e-l-a-x!

#MOTHERHOOD/PARENTHOOD IS NOT A COMPETITION, SO STOP MAKING IT ONE!!

COFFEE, PRETZELS, WINE OR SHOES

Fat Tuesday is history and now some are deciding what to put on ice until after Easter.

Time to consider sacrificing something for a few weeks, so I am combing my brain...it's early this Ash Wednesday morning, so I'm fuzzy on the particular item. I know it is serious, but it is difficult for me to be totally serious about much of anything. It's just no fun to take life so seriously, so I don't intend to start today.

##

With that being said...my Rodeo Drive coffee helps kick-start things and the first temption is to make it easy by giving up something like, oh, pretzels or raw potatoes.

Pushing that idea aside, I dig deeper and bring three more significant items to the top of the list.

#Chocolate


#Wine


#Shoe shopping

Man, now that I look at my list...I'm back to the pretzels or spuds. No chocolate, wine or shoe shopping for a few weeks? Come ON!

Of course, I could put my adored Keurig coffee pods on ice, but how would I ever get my blog done?

Oh, this is gonna be hard.

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A DOG AND A LAPTOP

I am storyboarding upcoming chapters in my developing fictional creation, Privately Palmer.My best-girl, Reggie, must snuggle in beside me, but it does make for a difficult typing situation.


Of course, I can not blame my girl...I am working on the sofa, so what does that tell ya?

The best part is that I am loving how my female-leading character, is developing...she's earthy, but vulnerable. At least that's how I see her and I imagine her as she falls from my brain, onto my fingers and the electronic page.

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So, yesterday we were lunching at Benny's on the Beach in Lake Worth with this super groovy couple from New Jersey. They are a husband-wife writing team and I could have listened to them all afternoon.

The male half of the duo has a fictional work about to launch and he gave me some excellent pointers about getting my book out in a non-traditional way.

Gave my cold and hard heart a glimmer of hope. I am sure it will get dashed all too soon, but either way...my dog is by my side.

Yeah, that's a real comfort.

Uh-huh!!

NOT SO WINNING, A LAST INTERVIEW

Thinking of other troubled celebrities, today and yesterday, when I listened to this last interview with Marilyn Monroe.



Was it a suspicious death as some claim? Fact or fiction?

She died too young that is a fact, but listening to her all those years ago-well, it could be a celebrity in the year 2011.

Being famous in Hollywood does not sound so very winning-then or now.

We watch...it unfold.

MARILYN MONROE, A VINTAGE MELT DOWN

Do I even need to say his name?

The spectacle that is and has been Charlie Sheen, just keeps on keeping on.

We've heard him, seen him and may be confounded by him.

Here's what I find even more interesting. All the talking heads, well, just all the opinions and comments about Charlie/Carlos.

Some are shaking their heads, some are screaming (this would be via ALL CAPS in the comment section of many blog sites) about Charlie's state of being. Further, some are proclaiming what a shame it is that no one will step in and help him. Taking that another step, some are howling that in "Old Hollywood" this never would have been allowed to happen.

To hear some tell it, OLD H-Wood would have been all over this-protecting him-shielding him-getting him help. NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN OLD HOLLYWOOD (see, that's how you scream on the 'net).

I call BS.

Yeah, it is different today because of technology famous, infamous and never-gonna-be-known-by-anyone are all on a semi-level playing field. We can ALL look assinine, 24/7. Thank you social networking, etc., etc., etc.

What is NOT different is how the entertainment industry will only do so much for their cash-cows. The Hollywood of today and yesterday. The same.

If we could, we'd ask some of those famous types who were used and, possibly, abused by the major studios back in the day.

Imagine witnessing the tragedy that was Marilyn Monroe or Judy Garland, unfolding before our eyes on YouTube, FlipShare, iPhone, Skype-just to name a few.

No, I don't think old Hollywood did a better job. They were just much more sinister.

KING, BABY-CAKES

Mardi Gras is raining down all over, except here in West Palm Beach.

I double-dog-dare you to find a King Cake in this neck-of-the-palm-trees.

If you have the inclination, of course, you are free to make it yourself. I am not so inclined.

Nope, I will watch this video of one being whipped up. Makes me so hungry.




Thanks, Ralph's!!

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INTERNATIONAL WOMEN, CARNIVAL AND FAT TUESDAY

My head is spinning there is so much fodder for the blog today. So, I'm kicking off...International Woman's Day (100th anniversary) and Fat Tuesday with this clip that makes me think of how cool it would be to celebrate...Carnival in Brazil!!

BENNY'S AND THE EGGS

Lunch today in Lake Worth at Benny's on the Beach.

Best crab cake, Eggs Benedict, EVER.

Gorgeous, even though the entire area was crawling, jumpin' and jivin' with Spring Breakers.

Now, back to my book writing, Privately Palmer. Working on Chapter 13, but have had many interruptions!!!

LIKE LUCY RICARDO...

Did you kids ever see the, I Love Lucy, where she tries to become a writer?

Picture it...only imagine me as the Lucy character.

Yep, my fingers are busy clicking the keys on my laptop with a new fictional creation entitled, Privately Palmer.

I suspect Gaz, like Ricky Ricardo, would happily eat his hat if my book were to be published.

If you want a peek, comment here and I will add you as a reader.

So, stick with with me here at Indiscreetly Us...I must go and find that hat...you never know.