OUT, OUT BRIEF FLAMELESS CANDLE

Salud, Kids!

When I saw these flameless candles at Home Goods last week, it gave me pause.

Yes, I understand there is a clear need for this sort of LED-laced shenanigans. Perfect for weddings; blah, blah, blah.

Still, in this age of fake EVERYTHING, can't we simply leave candles alone to wax on with a real wick?

People,PLEASE!

If the real deal is not appropriate or some sort of ridiculous danger...use a lighted something-or-other or NOTHING at all. Real candles are sacred.

Don't think so? Well, picture this-William S. is sitting, quill grasped in his ink-stained fingers, gazing out some romantic window conjuring up a soliloquy for MacSomeone and the profound significance of-FLAMELESS candles.

It is just wrong. Wrong, and with apologies to the main, Bard of Avon...

Macbeth's famous soliloquy: "Out, out, brief (FLAMELESS) candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

A dark and brooding soliloquy isn't a soliloquy without a real wick-laced candle with a real flaming-flame, otherwise it signifys nothing!

Now, wrap your quill around some wax and light the flame of a real candle.

See ya 'round the beaches-real or virtual.
Read me fictionally, The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches, Barnes & Noble, eBooks!