Perhaps it is just me, but I struggle with warehouse shopping. Actually, I think it is definitely me. It seems the entire universe spends endless hours stuffing empty carts with loads of great deals at places such as Costco. Personally, never embraced that sort of shopping. For one thing, they have no style, inside or outside. Now, if they would take a page from the real warehouses of yesteryear, like the one pictured, I would be more inclined to step inside on a regular basis. Isn't it really all about the ambiance? You bet ya!!
Having a small family; quite small, could be part of the reason I go into some sort of catatonic state the hand full of times I have entered that zany, Sam's Club. It is overwhelming and I have never felt the need to buy twenty-five cans of green beans in one fell-swoop. Of course, being borderline, Anti-Walmart could be part of the reason my eyes glaze over and my legs and feet become clay once inside that place, but only part.
Now, yesterday the rain in the Palm Beaches caused me to do the strangest thing. Without hesitation, I slid the heap into a parking slot at Costco, zipped inside (my first time to step sandal inside one), waited in a short line and, BAM, got a membership. I even opted for the ridiculous hundred dollar card because she promised some return on your purchases (I glazed over, but got it anyway). Oh, got a card for Gaz while I was at it and he's even worse than I am about these stores. No matter, I was on some sort of exotic warehouse store dream-cloud.
After having my photo taken (what a photo it turned out to be, having been rained on prior to entering the store), I turned from the counter, clutching my card, in wonder. What next? I didn't really know the ropes of the place, so I wandered aimlessly in the wrong direction, looped back in the correct pathway to the carts. They have some sort of attendant standing by them and that was impressive. I liked that touch of special attention, a lot. He seemed oblivious to me, but I let that slide. I noticed they also had an attendant in the departure area, just to make sure you had a great Costco experience, huh? Wow, now that's just Customer Service nipping at the heels of those kids over at Nordstrom!
Once I had the cart in hand, what to do next? I needed absolutely nothing, but I didn't let that stop my progress. I was on a warehouse store mission. Cruising past people who were heavily engrossed in perusing the virtues of such things as pool shock, I was determined to find something worthy of my new card.
Guess what appeared, right at an aisle end cap? Palm trees. Tall ones for $13.99. After spilling dirt on their pristine concrete flooring, I wrangled them into my cart and was off to find the checkout place. Of course, I couldn't see a thing in front of me, but who cares about that when you have a deal on your hands?
After making circles to nowhere for fifteen minutes (I passed the same box of Cheerios no less than five times), I rolled my treasures into the newly discovered checkout lane area and offered up my newly minted card and my dog-eared, Visa. Guess what happened next? You'll never guess (yes, you will as I am the last person on earth to get one of these dumb cards), so I will tell ya. She slapped it right back into my hand with vigor. No can do. Only can do, AmEx, and checks and (who still uses those things?). Yes, I could have used my debit card, but happily and undaunted, I presented her with my even more dog-eared, American Express and all was well. Without a la-de-da of dismissal to me, she moved her wand to the next sap in line and all I had to do was say, ta-ta to the exit guy and then shove my ten-feet -tall trees into my car. As a black-belt shopper I managed that in a flash.
Will I continue to shop at Costco or was it temporary-insanity? I have no idea, but things would be so much easier and pleasant for people if they would install a few catenary cables. You know? Zip around and over the goods, drop down when you see something. Easier, plus they could have a cable-attendant!
Gotta go and send that suggestion to Costco.
Stay with me.
See ya 'round the beaches-real or virtual.
Read me, fictionally, The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches, Barnes & Noble, eBooks.
No comments:
Post a Comment