FAKE NIVEA TAN AND EYE SHADOW FOR DUMMIES

Salud, Kids!

As you know, Google experienced a few problems several weeks ago and I dashed over to WordPress and cranked out some blogs. Fine, fine-but I missed the comfort of blogger, so I'm back. Yep, just like that bad penny. Incidentally, who knows why a penny is bad? Just wondering.

Not bad are some new (to me) products, so let's yammer about my Target treasureS, what do you say? As I can not hear you through my computer, I am just going to ASSume (you know how THAT saying goes) that you agree.

Take a gander at your skin and ask yourself if it is sun-kissed. No? Forget the damaging rays of the sun (also, forget that I am looking out onto the shimmering rays in the Sunshine State) and grab a bottle of Nivea, Sun-Kissed Radiant Skin-promising a gradual tan.

My fair skin and I eschew the real sun during peak hours, but my cotton-ball colored legs look ridiculous in shorts. Therefore, at certain times of the year I dabble in fakery (don't say I do that all year!).

Perusing the lotions and potions at Target last week I spied Nivea lotion looking all promising and I could not resist, so off I went with the little dear. To be honest it is a fairly decent product, thus far. I have been using it every other day on legs and arms and I see no signs of orange. Yet. The shade of cotton is dimming and I like that. Have you guys tried any of these products? What were the results?

Kids, I have used eye shadow for more years than I am going to tell in this blog, but I believe I have hit upon eye shadow perfection. Well, for dummies at least. Don't even say what you are thinking at that comment.
May I present; L'Oreal, The One Step Sweep! I would prefer to call it what it REALLY is-Eye Shadow Application For Dummies. Seriously, have you seen this stuff? Even the sponge is shaped like an eyelid. Genius!


Here's the deal-you swipe the sponge applicator across the powder, then across your eyelid. Perfect! Every single time. No need to try and figure out where to put the lighter shade and darker shade...they're done it for you!
Take a look at how they have layered the colors. Making up your eyes has reached a new level of sophistication if you ask me. And, why wouldn't you?

Now, if only they would come up with a way for me to apply foundation and blush in one swift flick of the applicator.

Forget Sephora, I gotta go back to Target and see what else is new.

Send me your suggestions.

See ya 'round the beaches.

THE BAINBRIDGES OF THE PALM BEACHES

Kids,

I must insist that you get your silky-tanned bodies to Barnes and Noble and get your fiction on with my little novel.

Listen, I put photo illustrations in it and everything.

So, go ahead and hock that diamond-encrusted Cinderella watch and cough up the $2.99. If you can afford an iPhone, iPad, Nook or Kindle will the absence of a few more coins to your zero bank balance?

See ya 'round the beaches, getting fictioned!

PUNISHMENT SHOULD FIT THE CRIME

Salud, Kids!

Is it just me?

Probably, but yesterday Lindsay H0-HUM-HAN gets a pass, mostly, on the alleged stealing a necklace thing. She has done so many punishable things over the past few years it becomes a little difficult to keep track. Not that I really care to invest that much energy in the twit.

For her latest brush with the law, her HARSH punishment is shocking! Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Cry a tear for her as she must stay inside her house for a couple of weeks and is being forced to do community service, but that's about the size of it.

When some Connecticut kid named, James Tate, taped a prom invitation to a girl, via removable letters, to the side of his high school he is banned from even attending. Oh, the girl said yes, as I am sure you know. This story is everywhere today. It is so ridiculous. Rules are rules, but this seems harsh and makes me think of the punishment handed down to Celebu-idiot, Lindsay.

Celebrity justice vs Ordinary citizens justice!

Gives one pause, huh?

Happily, there has been such an outcry over the ridiculous nature of this high school incident, those two kids will probably be attending the prom in clothes they will come to regret wearing (that's a requirement). Hope they do go, but what I would really like to tell that Tate kid is he isn't really going to miss much if he remains banned.

Proms are nothing to write home about, but when someone does not go they may wonder what they missed. Most people don't tell you...NOTHING special. Remember, these are the same idiots you see at school every day.

More fun? Watching Drew Barrymore telling it like it is...high school that is.

See ya 'round the beaches!!

Check out my eBook, The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches, Barnes & Noble, eBook Store.

HEIDI-DO; I DO, I DO ON PALM BEACH

Salud, Kids!

I know, I know...I continue to yap about the I Do, I Do's.

This time?

Heidi and Seal, well, sealed their marriage vows-AGAIN-in Palm Beach this past weekend. And, why not?

It is sort of ho-hum how they do this EVERY freaking year. Don't get me wrong, I am as happy as a diamond-encrusted island clam for these kids, but please. Every year? Come ON!

SNOOZE and YAWN. We get it...you are IN LOVE and good for you.

Well, if they HAD to chrip their vows to each other they picked an excellent location in this neck-of-the-palms. It was a gorgeous weekend 'round here.

But, Seal should just sing his vows, if you ask me (and they never will)-and she should just sashay up and down the sand like it's a Vic Secret runway!

They do take this renewing vows biz to extremes, but let us go ahead and give 'em credit where credit is due (like they need validation from this blog).

Let me see, where was I? Oh, giving them credit. Uh-huh.

Yes, they are talented, rich, very rich and then richer; they have four kids and if the tabloids have it correct, they do a good job in that department. Oh, they moved the wedding re-deux to Florida this year instead of the usual Mexico for the safety of their brood.

Bummer that I didn't get word of this until after the deed was done, again, for the umpteenth time.

Listen, how cool-super cool, if I had been on my terrace gazing through my binoculars and Heidi and Seal hanging on the beach in wedding costumes came into view.

Wait, that makes it sound like I snoop with my binoculars and you know I would NEVER do such a thing.

See ya (if not Heidi and fam) 'round the beaches!

Check out my eBook, The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches, at Barnes and Noble, eBook Store.

SLAP A DISCREET LOGO ON THAT SOUP AND SNAP

Salud, Kids!

Foods, foods, foods...I love foods of all sorts, but I can't get always get what I want when I want it. Wait, that sounds somewhat like a Rolling Stones song-but that's another blog.

Food is fun to make, devour and most importantly; photograph. This makes me want to roll my eyes, but I flipped through a media report yesterday outlining inane factoids as to why we crazy types seem to be photographing our food with such frequency.

Basically, the report was appealing to marketing folks to GET ON THAT. In other words, if we idiots are going to be snapping shots of our chow and posting them all over our social network connections, why not emblazon food with a logo. Get it? We click our iPhone camera all around our luscious cupcake and there you see it, the logo for Land-o-Lakes butter (or something), imprinted into the cupcake paper. Start looking for it when your friends post photos...their dinner plate will be subliminally marketing to YOU.

You heard it here, but on to something more interesting (to me).

Here's the deal. I live in Florida, but I sometimes crave delicious and nutritious, (keep your squint-eye to yourself), Tex-Mex. Finding flavorful T-M seems impossible in these parts, so I must settle for a place called, Chipolte semi-fast food and other restaurants claiming to have some relation to Mexican cuisine. They do not. A real dilemma.

Trust me when I tell you there is nothing better than gigantic Chimichangas, chicken tacos, fajitas or enchiladas. Toss in some fresh salsa and homemade tortilla chips and I'm floating on a praline-filled Pinata.

Now, if I want Cuban sandwiches, they are a dime-a-dozen in this neck-of-the-palms and I adore them. Imagine the bread, meat, cheese and pickles. Awesome combination.

As sandwiches go-you can't beat a Cuban, but I long for the fresh aroma of cilantro, lime, chili powder, cayenne pepper and cumin-just to name a few. Of course, cilantro is one of those things you either love or loathe. Place me squarely in the former because I can not get enough of it. Can you imagine fresh Guacamole without it? If you can, I don't want to know anything else about your palate, thankyouverymuch!

My yearning for spices and salsa cause me to conjure up a place in Dallas called, The Mansion on Turtle Creek. Not for Tex-Mex, but the former chef, Dean Faring, made THE most out-of-this-world, Tortilla Soup. They still make it, the last I knew. I miss that soup, heck I just miss dining at The Mansion, but I digress.

This past weekend found me starved for a spoonful of Tortilla Soup, and being short of time, I lugged out the slow cooker, threw ingredients inside and a few hours later...my version of Chef Dean's soup. For absolute perfection you must strain or puree the soup, in case you wanted to know.

So, to answer the question as to why we photograph our food...because we love it!! I would say I find this entire logo-in-food-photos ridiculously dumb, but I've been too busy attempting to discover a way to put my Indiscreetly Us logo, ever so discreetly, on my own creations. I'll have to get back to ya, but I think I've got it!

Stay with me, kids...British Brian will pop in again, very soon.

See ya 'round the beaches.

Check out my ebook, The Bainbridges of the Palm Beaches, at Barnes and Noble, eBooks.

LOVELY, LUSTY MONTH OF MAY

Salud, Kids!

Here we are in May, so I bring you...Camelot.



See ya 'round the May beaches!!

HEY JUDE, ANOTHER BRITISH WEDDING

Salud,

Kids, I suppose you have heard the news that another wedding is on the horizon.

No, it is not HAWT Pippa and HRH Harry, but they do look fab together.

This time around, for the third time, it is one of the Fab Four, Sir Paul McCartney.

Come on, let's honor him with my favorite Beatles song. Well, one of 'em.



Not to brag, okay, I am-it was a thrill to meet this giant in the entertainment industry and hang out backstage with him. Gaz and I were jazzed, to say the least.

All I can say about that evening...Baby, I'm Amazed (yeah, it's another one their songs that I just wanted to toss in, but we really were...amazed).

Congratulation to Sir Paul...now go on have a Merry Mother's Day weekend!

See ya 'round the beaches.