Oh, my!
Scandal in movie-land. What a shocker. That almost never happens in the land of fakery.
Brace yourselves, but Scarlett Johansson's cell phone was hacked and now nudie photos have been leaked all over the 'net.
I know, I know, you could simply cut and paste this drivel about every other young Hollywood girlie-girl. But, try to stay with me here as I'm talking about some real HOLLYWOOD classics.
Kids, I don't know 'bout you, but these celebu-twits wailing about being hacked (I am NOT condoning this, it is wrong) is getting (insert HUGE bored yawn) OLD. Leaked tapes, leaked photos, leaked voice mail messages...Hollywood celebs (term used loosely) are a MESS.
But, this, um, sexy stuff is not only boring, these kids are clueless compared to the broads (said with respect and affection) of yester-year. They don't know the meaning of really being sexy.
Don't think so? Check out Joan Blondell above, and movies and studio-stills PRE-CODE (sorry, I am not explaining it to you, so look it up).
These dames (see above disclaimer) KNEW what sold and how to sell it. They had help, but they worked it and the public never knew what hit 'em, I suspect.
Slinky clothes, lounging in a sudsy tub, seductive make-up and enticing sets. True glamor.
They kept it mysterious and beautiful with just a dash of HOT!
Even Myrna Loy got saucy in water. No need to be hampered with the likes of a mutt named, Asta.
Take a peek at Joan Bennett, later known for more motherly roles. If that isn't innocently teasing, I'll eat a garage mechanic's shirt (hat-tip to Holiday Inn).
Oh, just for good measure, I tossed in a little bit of the 60's, Kim Novak. She managed to capture the spirit of all things sexy-bath-scene in a modest sort of way.
All these over-indulged starlings, um, starlets today need to heed the ladies that truly paved the way for their naked asses. They should be forced to watch every pre-code movie and write an essay about how they learned something from true artists.
The ladies of the early 30's sold sex the proper way. Innocently. You know, pretending they had NO idea the image of them looking all seductive was anything but Hollywood art. Uh-huh. that's the way to do it, Scarlett and girls. Take notes and study them. Hard.
See ya 'round the beaches!
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